Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
