i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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