I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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