I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
