I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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