I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
