I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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