This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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