I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
im on a boat
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