just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
im holly from the hills drunk
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
