North Korea, Best Korea!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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