How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
