I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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