he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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