I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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