absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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