There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
