the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
