good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
