So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
