If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
