I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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