I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
