I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
this will be a night to untag.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
