Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
