Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
