don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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