butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
