I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
