Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
