hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh god the rape fog is back!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
