i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
