Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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