New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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