Don't you send me to vm
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
