mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
