i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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