This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
