On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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