What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
