I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
