i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He? As in you personified your dick?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
