I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
