i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
