I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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