she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
