Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
