Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
