Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm always down for nudity.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
