how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
