That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
